I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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