You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
