3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
