david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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