I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
