Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
