Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
