Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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