how can u be prego again
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
