We're like a lot better than the average bears
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
