Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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