I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
