she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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