piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
