Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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