she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
