we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
