is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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