everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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