I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize