dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
