am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
