arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
