Non-Jews are for practice
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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