You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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