As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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