she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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