Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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