we have officially lost it.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
