How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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