hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
