it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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