well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
