these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
