yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
