This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think my vagina is haunted
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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