Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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