we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
