I love black thongs
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
this boner is exhausting
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Randomize