At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
