Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Floor bacon is actually really good
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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