She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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