Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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