I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
