oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize