Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
