I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
