we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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