I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
