Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
id be glad to
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
