I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
