I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's official drugs can't kill me
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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