After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize