Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
