For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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