How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
