the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
