i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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