its not stalking. its research.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
