Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
