if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
