pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
