is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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