Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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