I hate all girls vehemently.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize