You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
