Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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