Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
BRING THE BAGELS
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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