I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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