plz talk dirty to me
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
