She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I love you. Go after that dick
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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