My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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