u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
