Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize