I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she looked like the before picture.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
