I hope mine doesn't look like that
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
my nose is crying tears of wow.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
