ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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