Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize